After adultery, a relationship is usually at its weakest point.
This is not necessarily a bad thing.
Although this may seem hard for you to believe, the truth is that the time after adultery is also the time that can make or break a relationship, which can be a huge opportunity.
I know that nobody wants or deserves to be cheated on. But cheating isn’t the problem. It’s only the symptom. There is almost always a much deeper problem that underlies the infidelity. If anything good can actually come out of adultery knowing that there is a real problem that needs to be addressed may be it.
After adultery, you will need to completely overhaul your relationship. This is not an optional step if you want to save your relationship after adultery occurs. Much like the theory used in the military boot camps that you must tear a recruit in order to build them back into something much stronger, the same thing has to be done to your relationship. You will need to start over and rebuild your relationship from the ground up. If you don’t, history will only repeat itself.
Step one in this process is to spend some time apart. This may seem a little crazy, since your natural instinct is to never let your partner out of your site. Spending this time apart will allow you to view your relationship from a different perspective which is important in the relationship repair process.
Step two is to find out what the problem is that underlies the infidelity. And the answer to this is NOT “they were sleeping with someone else!” Remember this is only the symptom, not the problem. You and your partner have to find out what the real problem is and then solve it.
After you have accomplished the first two steps, it’s now time to rebuild your relationship.
The real key here is to treat this as a brand new relationship. Go on dates, spend time together, all of the things you would do if you were starting to date someone brand new. This a real must if you expect to sav your relationship after adultery occurs.
Even though you are building a new relationship after adultery, you and your partner must remember the problems that made all of this necessary in the first place. The idea here is not to have the relationship that you had before but a better one. This means not making the same mistakes.
Saving your relationship after adultery will not be easy. Bu if you are committed to acting on the steps I have given you it can be very worthwhile and fulfilling and you may end up with the strong loving relationship you have always wanted.
Until the next time,
Terry
